FOUR FACETS OF FRIENDSHIP
Let us think about friendships and the mark
they leave upon us. Let us look at the four
jeweled facets of friendship that can best be
remembered by the four proverbs: (1) "As a
man thinketh in his heart, so is he." (2)
"Birds of a feather flock together." (3) "A
faithful friend is the medicine of life." (4)
"Never forget a friend when prosperity comes
your way."
Friends are not wished upon us. We do not
deliberately choose friends. We win them. And
not every man or woman has that disposition;
not every man or woman is possessed of that
inner grace wherewith to win friends. Just as
some ears are deaf to music and some eyes
blind to painting - hearing but not
comprehending, and seeing but not discerning
- so there are hearts that are closed to
friendship.
People who are usually absorbed in other
relationships, who are too completely
dominated by other interests, or too
self-centered, too egotistical, too
self-sufficient; or the contrary people who
are too timid, too locked up, escapists who
run away from what they fear, from
commitments and entanglements - all such
people often miss the completing and exalting
experience of friendship.
Friendship, like all other human forms of
culture, takes time and thought. It must be
carefully cultivated, and it requires time
for seasoning and ripening. It is the old
friends who are the. true friends, just as
it's the old wine that is the good wine.
Jewish writings tell us: "Forsake not an old
friend, for the new is not comparable to him.
A new friend is as new wine. When it is old
thou shaft drink it leisurely." Those who are
too busy with other concerns have not the
time, therefore, for the proper husbandry of
friendship.
All great religions and all great literatures
stand in the presence of the phenomenon of
friendship as if in the presence of the
mystic, something magnificently great. In the
Old Testament we read the story of Jonathan's
friendship for David which was so profound
that Jonathan gave David the sceptre of a
kingdom-a kingdom that could have been his.
The Book of Ecclesiasticus, which is
recognized as sacred scripture by our Roman
Catholic brothers but not by Protestants, has
a lot to say on friendship. Ecclesiasticus
was composed by an eminent physician, Ben
Sirach, in the second century before Christ.
He was a wise man who travelled far, learned
much, gathered wisdom and published his
findings in this book of the Apocrypha.
Francis Bacon, an Englishman living at the
time of Queen Elizabeth I, wrote concerning
friendship: "A principal fruit of friendship
is the ease and discharge of the fullness and
swellings of the heart, which passions of all
kinds so cause and induce .... No receipt
openeth the heart but a true friend, to whom
you may impart griefs, joys, hopes,
suspicions, counsels, and whatsoever Beth
upon the heart to oppress it, in a kind of
civil shrift or confession."
Let us consider the first facet of the great
jewel of friendship. "As a man thinketh in
his heart, so is he." Make friends with
ideas. Then let those ideas become the
driving force in your life. Then select your
friends from those who share your same vision
of greatness. Institutions such as the
church, or Freemasonry, dedicated to sharing
these great ideals, often provide the common
ground that creates lasting friendships.
In a Declaration of Principles adopted by the
Grand Lodge of the State of Illinois in 1939,
the guiding ideals of Freemasonry were
outlined as follows:
"Freemasonry is a charitable, benevolent,
educational, and religious society .... Its
only secrets are in its methods of
recognition and of symbolic instruction ....
Freemasonry seeks to improve the community.
Thus it impresses upon its members the
principles of personal righteousness and
personal responsibility . . . . Inspires them
with a feeling of charity, or good will
toward all mankind which will move them to
translate principle and conviction into
action. To that end it teaches and stands for
the worship of God; truth and justice;
fraternity and philanthropy; and
enlightenment and orderly liberty, civil,
religious, and intellectual . . . . The
Freemason will act in civil life according to
his individual judgment and the dictates of
his conscience."
Mr. Nightengale has become a very successful
man in the field of human motivation because
he discovered the importance of making
friends with ideas. From the wisdom of the
ages he distilled the thoughts of men from
various cultures and civilizations. He
condensed his findings into a system. Then he
makes cassette tapes and instructs those who
are looking for a way to be successful to
listen to these tapes over and over again.
Make that idea an intimate friend; then it
will go to work for you.
In a very real sense, this is what the
Masonic lodge is all about. The key truths of
Masonry are reduced to ceremony and symbols
which are re-enacted every stated meeting, so
that men will not only marvel at the beauty
of truth; these truths will become their
intimate friends. Masonry is a progressive
moral science, divided into different
degrees; and as its principles and mystic
ceremonies are regularly developed and
illustrated, it is intended and hoped that
they will make a deep and lasting impression
upon the mind.
Make friends with great ideas. Then let those
ideas become the organizing force and the
dynamo of your life.
The second facet of the jewel of friendship
is stated in the proverb: "Birds of a feather
flock together." Select your friends from
those who share with you the same vision of
greatness.
The writer of the Book of Hebrews reminds his
Christian audience of the great "Cloud of
Witnesses" that once occupied the stage of
human drama and acted out their faith. In
that great essay on faith in Chapter 11 of
Hebrews we are told:
"By faith Abel offered a sacrifice greater
than Cain's . . . . By faith Enoch was
carried away to another life without passing
through death . . . . By faith Noah divinely
warned about the unseen future, took great
heed and built an ark to save his household .
. . . By faith Abraham obeyed the call to go
out to a land destined for himself and his
heirs, and left home without knowing where he
was to go .... By faith Isaac blessed Jacob
and Esau and spoke of things to come . . . .
By faith when Moses was born, his parents hid
him for three months, because they saw what a
fine child he was . . . . By faith when he
grew up, Moses refused to be called the son
of Pharoah's daughter, preferring to suffer
hardship with the people of God. Need I say
more? Time is too short for me to tell the
stories of Gideon, Barak, Samson, and
Jepthah, of David and Samuel and the Prophets
. . . . With all these witnesses to faith
around us like a cloud, we must throw off
every encumbrance, and run with resolution
the race for which we are entered, our eye;
fixed upon Jesus."
We are familiar with the glorious history of
our Judeo-Christian heritage, but do we
understand the part Freemasonry plays in that
history? Rear Admiral Homer N. Wallin,
speaking in Seattle, Washington, in 1955
said: "America is indeed a monument to the
principles and the ideals of the Founding
Fathers - a monument to the truth we seek, to
principle, to self-sacrifice, to the loyalty
and devotion of its people. And it is correct
to say that our kind of America is a monument
to the ideals and principles of Freemasonry,
not only because of the accord in principles
and ideals, but also because a large number
of our Founding Fathers were Freemasons.
Masons have inherited the right to say,
`Behold the flag of our country, an emblem
conceived by Freemasons and representing
Masonic ideals'. "
Among the Signers of the Declaration of
Independence, Masons were well represented. I
know at least two - Benjamin Franklin and
John Hancock - were Freemasons. You may
recall John Hancock made his signature very
large on this historic document so that
George II could read it without putting on
his glasses.
Fourteen American Presidents were Masons.
This list would include George Washington,
who was Master of his lodge in Alexandria at
the time of his inauguration as President in
1789. He was sworn into office on a Masonic
Bible. It also includes James Monroe, Andrew
Jackson, William McKinley, the two
Roosevelts, and Harry Truman.
The early influence of Freemasonry is
illustrated in the Louisiana Purchase of
1803. Most of those directly involved in the
purchase were Masons: Robert Livingston and
James Monroe. The area was explored by
Masons: Meriwether Lewis, William Clark,
Zebulon M. Pike, and Andrew Henry. It was
governed by Masons. Lewis was the first
Governor, Clark the Indian. Superintendent,
Frederick Bates, Secretary; Judges Otho
Shrader, Silas Bent, Pierre Chouteau, and
Bernard Pratte.
The impressive list of Masons in the military
would include General Douglas MacArthur,
General Charles Augustus Lindbergh, Captain
Edward V. Rickenbacker, Admiral Richard Byrd,
General Henry "Hap" Arnold, and General James
Harold Doolittle, just to name a few in this
century.
From this list one might get the impression
that a man had to be a Freemason to get ahead
in politics and government service. This was
not true, for the list of non-Masons is
greater; but it is interesting to note that
this charge was levelled by dissident clergy
against the Genesee Conference of the
Methodist Church more than a century ago.
They claimed that all the good churches were
filled by Methodist ministers who were Masons
and those who refused to join the lodge
received what crumbs were left. This group of
dissident Methodists also became upset over
pew rents that were being charged members and
said that church pews ought to be free. They
found the main body of the church
disinterested in their reforms and broke away
to form the Free Methodist Church, which
survives to this day as a small group which
does not permit its members to join any
lodge.
Masonry began in the dim light of the almost
forgotten past. Some say it had its
beginnings at the time of the Greek
Philosopher Pythagoras, some five hundred
years before Christ. Certainly it borrows
heavily from his geometric truths. In the
modern era the first Grand Lodge was
organized in London in 1717. From fragments
of history we know that Freemasonry was in
existence in the fourteenth century. While
one might assume from what I have said that
Masonry is primarily an American
organization, this would not be true. It is
world-wide in scope, as the Master Mason
Rudyard Kipling has illustrated in his famous
poem, The Mother Lodge.
The church and the lodge provide a common
ground for men who have caught the vision of
greatness to meet and become friends. What a
rich legacy is ours in this brotherhood!
The third facet of the Jewel of Friendship is
the proverb: "A faithful friend is the
medicine of life." There is healing in
friends. It is agreeable to have another
human being share with us those things which
burden us, filling our hearts beyond their
own capacity to bear them. In this way, a
faithful friend is the medicine of life - and
in another way, too. Not only by sharing our
burdens with others, but by taking into our
lives the griefs and the hopes and the
problems of our friends, we cleanse our own
souls of self-coddling; we save ourselves
from becoming too wrapped up in ourselves. We
make ourselves well by giving and receiving.
There is another profound comment on
friendship found in the Bible: "Just as iron
sharpeneth iron, so a man sharpeneth the
countenance of his friend." Friendship
challenges us. A true friend is one who will
warn us when we are being less than our best.
For true friendship demands the best that is
within us. We are not on parade before our
friends. True friends can have sharp
differences of opinion without losing their
esteem or affection for each other.
The fourth facet of the Jewel of Friendship
is the proverb: "Never forget a friend when
prosperity comes your way." This is to say
that friendship makes demands. Friendship is
not a matter of personal convenience. A
friend is not there just to receive our
intimate confessions, to counsel us, to
soothe us, to agree with us, to justify us,
and always approve of our ways.
Friendship calls us to duty. Our Lord lived
His life in obedience to the higher duty of
God and for His friendship to man laid down
His life. "There is no greater love than
this, that a man should lay down his life for
his friends. You are my friends."
We are living in perilous times, times when
the quality of life has been polluted by
desires of quantity. Mr. Alvin Toffler in his
best selling book, Future Shock, has vividly
described what is happening. He says that
living in the last half of the twentieth
century is like living in the center of a
tornado. Things that we thought were secure,
resting on good foundations, are suddenly
flying overhead like aircraft. The church,
the lodge, the public school system, our
government - all these things which we
thought were resting on good foundations have
come unglued. Novelty, confusion surrounds
us. Rowboats aren't in the water; they're
flying through the air. Our rapidly changing
environment is taking a heavy toll on
personalities. Never did we need
companionship more. Never has the call to
duty to fight for and preserve our
friendships been a more important call.
Collectively we can maintain our sanity in
this tornado ravaged world. Individually we
will lose our sanity, if we don't have
lasting friendship.
In our sacred literature we are cautioned to
prove and to test men before we admit them
into the sacred sanctuary of friendship. "If
thou wouldst get a friend, prove him first
and be not hasty to credit him!" There are
those who are friends for their own occasion,
who will not abide the day of trouble. These
are our fair-weather friends, our prosperity
friends, our companions at the table. They
are the scavengers of friendship. They are
camp followers.
Real friendship is only possible when there
exists between two people a concurrence of
driving ideals, a genuine capacity for
loyalty, for trust, for generosity, and the
real baring of one soul to another. This is
the fertile soil of friendship.
Tell me not of a man's history, only let me
know the ideals to which he subscribes, the
institutions he supports, the companions he
make, and I can tell you what kind of a man
he is.
My greatest joy on earth shall be,
To find at the turning of every road,
The strong hand of a comrade kind
To help me onward with my load.
But since I have no gold to give
And only love can make amends,
My daily prayer shall be,
"God make me worthy of my friends."
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