lodge humor
In days of old a Brother Knight was having his squire polish up his best
armour and his groom curry his best charger. His fair lady, seeing the activity
says "If you're going to that Lodge again, you'd better be back before 10:30
else I'm bringing up the drawbridge and you're out for the night." "Yes, dear"
he says, packs his apron into his saddlebags and heads off to the meeting. 10:23
and there's been a bit of Harmony at the close of the meeting. Sir Knight looks
at his sundial ( ! ) and sees the time. He downs the last of his mead, grabs his
apron, leaps to his charger and sets off at full gallop towards the castle.
10:28 and he's on the home straight, the castle is up ahead but the horse is
tiring. He spurs it into one last gasp effort. 10:29, only yards to go but the
drawbridge is starting to rise. With a feat of horsemanship still unsurpassed,
he gets to his feet in the saddle and leaps for the rising edge of the
drawbridge. His fingertips just curl over the top but the beer and the weight of
the armour are just too much. As his fingers slowly release their grip on the
wood, he looks down and says "Oh well. So moat it be!"
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It was meeting night and the RWM had just dropped round to a new
office-bearer's house to offer him a lift to the meeting. The RWM was met at the
door by the fellow's wife wo said that her husband wasn't quite ready and
invited the RWM in. "How're you finding things since your husband went into
office?" he asks. "OK, I suppose," says she, "but he's acting sort of strange.
He sits in the loo for hours on end mumbling to himself these days." "Really,"
says the RWM, "why's he doing that?"
"I don't rightly understand" says she, "whenever I ask him, he says that it's
the only tyled room in the house!"
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A well known Brother once wanted to affiliate to a different Lodge only a few
miles away from his Mother Lodge. He went through the motions of getting a demit
from his Mother Lodge and presenting it to the Secretary of his chosen Lodge,
along with his application for affiliation. When asked what his reasons for
wanting to move were, he replied "Health reasons."
"That's a fairly unusual reason for wanting to move. If I'm not being too
nosy, what's the problem?" says the Secretary.
"They got sick of me over there!"
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The new Mason's wife was constantly pestering him to tell her what happens at
Lodge meetings. He finally gives in and says that they hire a stripper to dance
naked on the floor of the Lodge. "Do you look?" she asks. "Of course I look, "
says he, "otherwise I'd be an Oddfellow".
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