The Masonic Trowel

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east end opening

W.M. Bruvvers, 'elp us open the gaff

W.M. to J.W. Bruvver… why do we 'ave to look lively?

J.W. To make sure the wood is in the 'ole, Guvnor.

W.M. Well don't just stand there.

J.W. to I.G. O.K. bruv, you 'eard the Guvnor.

I.G. Done John.

J.W. to W.M. Sorted Guv.

W.M. to S.W. Bruvver… the next bit?

S.W. To see the Bruvvers are on the firm.

W.M. C'mon Bruvvers, shake a leg.

W.M. to J.W. Ow much top brass in the drum?

J.W. Three Guv, you and your two oppos wiv the cuffs.

W.M. to S.W. Ow many others?

S.W. Three Guv, besides the bouncer, namely the mush on the door and the two geezers wiv the pool cues.

W.M. to J.W. Where's the bouncer?

J.W. Outside all tooled up.

W.M. Why's that?

J.W. He's packin a blade in case we're busted Guv and to make sure the new punters 'ave the right gear on.

W.M. to S.W. The mush on the door?

S.W. 'Overin inside Guv.

W.M What for?

S.W. To check the tickets, to admit new punters, and do what 'e's told by my oppo.

W.M. to J.W. Where's the J.D?

J.W. Over there Guv.

W.M. Why?

J.W. To grass to you, Guv, and to chivvy them up a bit.

W.M. to S.W. And the other one?

S.W. Next to you, Guv.

W.M. Oh yeah, why?

S.W. To grass you up to me and my oppo and wait till the other geezer with the pool cue gets back.

W.M. to J.W. What about you John?

J.W. to W.M. Over 'ere Guv.

W.M. to J.W. Why's that then?

J.W. To get a bit of currant bun,nip down the rubbadubdub wiv the Bruvvers, and see they're all back 'ere before the last bell.

W.M. to S.W. Bruvver S.W. what about you?

S.W. Down the shallow end Guv.

W.M. What for?

S.W. To let 'em know when it's lighting up time, to close the gaff, and to see that all the Bruvvers get their cut.

W.M. to I.P.M. Bruvver I.P.M where am I?

I.P.M. Next to me Guv.

W.M. I know that. Why?

I.P.M. To keep this lot on their dancers, to open the gaff, and get 'em at it

W.M. Bruvvers, now that we're all 'ere, it's eyes down for a full 'ouse, but before we do, let's get the boss
          in the planning department to tip us the wink so there's no aggro

All. Nice one, Guvnor.

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Last modified: July 05, 2014