OUR OWN REWARD
I have tried to understand
the meaning and the ultimate of life,
Why there' s so much less
of beauty and so much more of strife;
I have looked to find the
answer in the darkness of the night,
And in the noontime
fullness when the sun was shining bright;
I sought to know the reason
why there's so much less of mirth,
When the world's brimful of
laughter in the wonder of the earth;
I have tried to understand
the meaning and the status of the word,
I have sought for peace and
comfort by appealing to the Lord;
Yet I know not how or why
or the wherefore of our being,
Nor if a true God made us,
why short‑sightedness of
seeing.
Why the hatred and
aversion,
why the wrong against the
right,
Why should man be ever
striving,
why the darkness 'gainst
the light,
Why the path of life is
crooked,
why the mind is oft
enmeshed
In a dark,
unending late' rinth where
wild terrors seem unleashed,
Why the soul cries out in
anguish,
why stripped naked,
none to care,
Why the grov'ling in the
cesspool of the deep and dark despair,
Why the agony and the
torture,
Why all thought of worldly
gain,
What' s the meaning of the
anguish,
and the night of mental
strain,
Why the contest,
why the struggle,
Why contend and why to win,
Why the hurt,
why discomfort,
why the sinking into sin,
Why the helpless agitation,
why the constant fear and
dread,
Why the hurting and the
killing just to earn our daily bread.
I have listened to the
voices of the spirit‑world at night,
I have sensed their very
presence through the darkness and the light,
I have felt them in the
ether wafted through the astral plane,
I have sought them in the
spirit,
when I slept,
to wake again;
I have sought to find the
answers that would give my heart relief,
I have looked but failed to
find them,
in blind faith,
a new belief,
And still I go on seeking
in a search that never ends,
Seeking one with
understanding,
one who comprehends.
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